Hiding.

I haven't collected my thoughts and I'm not entirely sure on what I want to say so I'm going to just write and see where I end up.

4 months and 1 day since my last post.

I had finally found a little hobby that I actually enjoyed doing (for myself) and I couldn't keep it up, good job!

I have no idea where the past four months have gone and what even happened within that time frame?! My laptop had to go to hospital for 6 weeks and work has been uber (do people still use this word?) demoralizing. Applying for jobs seems to be going nowhere and whilst it seems that everyone around me is starting to get their shit together, I feel like I'm stuck in a rut. I'm 21 and yet to pass my driving test and yet to know what career I actually want to work and where I want to live.  With the lack of these three things I seem to find myself stuck in a job that has turned me into a person that I don't like whilst living in a very secluded area home to many narrow minded people. This is not what I thought I'd be doing 8 months after graduating.  

So I think partly the reason that I haven't been active on this page is because I'm embarassed at the way I haven't been pushing myself to go out and do things.  I felt like I hadn't done anything or discovered anything worth writing about. I literally dread the unavoidable conversations asking what I've been up to and how the job hunt is going to the point where I find myself cancelling plans if I know a large group of people are going to be there. I find it rather overwhelming to be in the company of people who seem to have it sorted. I realise this sounds self pitying however I am under no illusion that this all could all be cured if I pushed myself to take part/apply for things. 

This has all been ever so doom and gloom hasn't it? I do apologise (to anyone, stilllll not sure if anyone actually reads this!) I guess January and February were slow months.  However, we are mid way through March, the sun is starting to make it's appearance, the days are getting longer and the next few weeks are shaping up nicely. Jobs have been applied for, driving test has been booked and the summer calendar is starting to look rather lovely.

I have so many posts I have been planning to put up so I might just go on a mad writing spree to attempt to make up the quarter of a year of silence on here.

Again, I do apologise for the horribly grim tone to this post! I promise this shall all be turned around.

TTFN!

x